Ah, the annual work Christmas party. It’s a time for celebrating the passing year, getting drunk in front of your employer, and getting too close with the office hottie. It’s truly a beautiful thing.
Office Christmas parties can be messy in any industry, but mix in the art world, they can be even messier. Our offices are filled with highly-emotional empaths, who like to let their hair down, so get a few glasses of wine down them and you’re in for some pretty intense conversations. And even more intense dance moves.
We reckon there are 5 classic categories that all Art Girls fall into after having a drop to drink at the office Christmas party – which are you?
If you don’t think you’re any of them, we promise that someone in your office thinks you are.
As if from nowhere, the otherwise quiet and reserved art girl will start telling anyone who’ll listen about their NFT wallet and their high-performing stocks. She’ll let you know that you really ought to be investing your wealth, and the 30-step easy method she used, like you’ve come to her TED talk. Business girl = activated.
After a drink or two, it becomes clear that the artists, co-workers, and clients the Brutal Critic have pretended to like all year aren’t really her cup of tea. In actual fact, they’re awful and she hates them. No, she loathes them. But come Monday morning, she’ll be kissing up to them and making them cups of tea like she never said anything. Suspicious.
Emotional Art Lover
The Emotional Art Lover will be practically in tears telling you how much art means to her, how Kandinsky changed her life, and that being a curator is the single most important job anyone in the world can do. We guess it’s better than her crying over her ex…
Secret Performance Artist
Once those Christmas tunes start blaring, the Secret Performance Artist takes to her stage (the middle of the office, or perhaps on top of a desk). She’ll be whipping out her top interpretive dance moves like she’s performing at an opening event for MOMA and you’re all her audience. Don’t try to break her trance. She might fall off the desk.
The Photography Extraordinaire is the party’s paparazzi, getting plenty of shots for the ‘gram. They might well have brought their Polaroid to take some Warhol-esque portraits of you all. The photographs will not look as hot the morning after as you felt they looked during the party.
Author: Verity Babbs