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How Chloe Wise Perfectly Sums up Every Art World Situation
How Chloe Wise Perfectly Sums Up Every Art World Situation
Feature 03 Apr 2020

Have you paid a visit to Chloe Wise’s Instagram lately? Yes, she’s a great artist, but have you realised that she’s really f*cking funny too? Often dressing up in costume or pulling faces with art world elites, she is a pro at poking fun at this crazy art world that we have all somehow fallen into. So, in honour of Chloe and her epic sense of humor, here’s a rundown of 8 times she channelled every art world persona.

The Art Heiress Spending Daddy’s $$$$

She’s the girl we all love to hate but secretly want to be. Posing here with auction world legend Simon De Pury in a British telephone box, Chloe is giving off serious money vibes here. And, honestly, we wish we were her.

The Art PR Girl After Her 70th Art Dinner At Venice

We all love when our work takes us on trips to art fairs and to parties on beautiful islands. But sometimes, just sometimes, there is a limit to how much gourmet food we can eat. Dressed up to the nines on what looks like a luxury trip in Sardinia, Chloe sums up that feeling of when we really can’t eat anymore canapés. (Please don’t hate us)

The Artist Who’s Spent Too Much Time In Her Studio And Now Knows Everything About Her Cat

It happens to even the best artists. Days turn into nights, turning into weeks, and sometimes, even months. When completely engrossed in finishing a big commission, artists have been known to lock themselves in their studios for way too long with only their pets for companionship. And, before you know it, you start having conversations with your cat, you start asking it about its star sign and where it likes to eat. Suddenly you realise that your cat can’t speak and you’re making this whole dialogue up in your head. And girl, you really need to get out more.

The Art Girl Who Only Turned Up To Post On The Gram

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????TUSIND TAK FOR COMING OUT ????

A post shared by Chloe Wise (@chloewise_) on

Have you ever rocked up to an exhibition pretending to be supporting the artist, when really, you’re just there because you know you’ll be able to take a really hot photo in front of a painting? Don’t worry, we’ve all done it, and Chloe and her pal seem to do it too, making us feel a little better at failing to be subtle at last night’s private view.

The Art Student Going Through An Existential Crisis

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‘twas a phase, mom

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We all went through many questionable phases when we were studying. The late teens and early twenties are a difficult time as it is, when you’re an art student, it’s even more of a rollercoaster. One week you might be a goth, the next you’re into politics, all the while, you keep redefining your own personal definition of what “art” really is. And to be honest, it doesn’t get much easier once you leave the student days behind… 

When Mom And Dad Turn Up To Your Solo Show But You Can’t Help Messing Around

We’ve all been there. Finally, something your parents can be proud of and here you are fooling around. While mom and dad ask you to pose nicely for the camera, your friends snigger in the background and you just can’t help yourself from making a silly face…sorry mom!

That One OTT Collector That We’re Secretly Scared Of But Who We All Want To Own Our Work

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hi sweetie, it’s me Sheels, just checking in on my favorite nephew, hope you’re having a phenomenal day, a really fabulous day, I mean it honey, just wanted to remind you that I adore you, almost as much as I adore the shrimp skewers at Golden Corral, oh come on, I’m just joshing, you know I haven’t eaten shellfish since 1982, but that was way before you were born, you little spring chicken, I remember when you were just a little egg!, anyways call me after your field trip sweetie, and send my regards to that biology teacher of yours, Mr. Alfonso was it?, my word, I’ll tell ya, he is cute!, if I were his age, I’ll tell ya, oh geez, oh— oh, Hal wants to use the iPad now so I’ve gotta go, big kiss,

A post shared by Chloe Wise (@chloewise_) on

You know the one, that art collector with the larger-than-life personality, and even bigger reputation that you can’t miss at every art fair. They’re kinda scary, but they also have an incredible collection. So instead of running away, you timidly approach them in a bid to secure that sale.

Those Days When You Questioned Why You Ever Dared To Step Foot In The Art World

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Death in Venice volume 2: me, an entrepreneur with a heart of gold in cut-throat industry in the late 1980s, screaming in perfect Italian at my second husband for screwing up our dinner res., “Weather Report: Forecasting Future” in the Nordic pavilion, a cute rooftop lunch I made for Dan and Vere (it was NOT filling but it WAS scenic), the airing of laundry, Jannis Kounellis at fondazione Prada, Alex Da Corte breaking our hearts and eyes at Arsenale, me taking matters into my own hands and ordering three seafood towers on the house (once again in perfect Italian), Aperol Spritzne Pierce at sundown, the calm violence of Jill Mulleady, a sauerkraut-juice vending machine by Slavs and Tatars (their whole install was too good), anyway yeah it’s a lot

A post shared by Chloe Wise (@chloewise_) on

We all have them. For some people it’s only once in a blue moon, while for many of us, it’s every five minutes. Working in the art world can be hard. Any sense of routine can be thrown out the window. Artists, clients and bosses all seem to run on their own schedule with unrealistic deadlines and no sense of direction or reason. There have been many days where we’ve wanted to scream at our phones or throw them against a brick wall, yet somehow we keep committed to our art careers. Because baby, the art world is a love-hate place, and you have to be in it to win it. 

Text Lizzy Vartanian

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