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Let’s talk about Monday scaries
Who hasn’t gone through an otherwise lovely Sunday evening with a feeling of doom and despair?
Art Girls Jungle 07 Mar 2019

Sunday scaries are a well-documented affair, in the art world and out. Just look it up if you don’t know what I’m talking about. But even if the term is unfamiliar, the phenomenon surely isn’t. Who hasn’t gone through an otherwise lovely Sunday evening with a feeling of doom and despair that’s impossible to pin down? It could be the hangover; it could be the thought of work tomorrow, but whatever it is, Sunday scaries are real. Too real. But what about their less famous little sister, the Monday scaries?
Monday scaries are like Sunday scaries in the flesh. If on Sunday night, you feel a sense of looming catastrophe hovering over you, on Monday, that sense has become fully real. It’s elbowing you on the metro, splashing coffee all over your camel coat. It’s snagging the garlic bagel and breathing it in your face for the rest of the day. It’s been flooding your inbox with 32 “urgent” but totally unnecessary emails over the weekend. It’s so obnoxious and so in-your-face that it’s impossible to ignore.
We all know that Mondays are Satan’s personal gift to this world. But for some frustrating reason, most of social media likes to pretend otherwise. As I was doing some preliminary research on this topic, the number of motivational Monday posts overwhelmingly outnumbered true reflections of the reality that is Monday: the screaming baby on the airplane that is life.
There were, however, some gems that truly capture the feeling of Monday scaries:

monday scaries 1
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monday scaries 2
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There’s even an entire meme account named after the phenomenon.
But on the whole, IG is pretty silent on the subject. Naturally, we turned to art history to fill in the gaps in Monday culture. Classical art is notorious for delivering all the feels and all the drama—and providing excellent meme fodder. Just consult all the top-notch classical art meme accounts floating around the Internet as proof.
While we’re waiting for @classicalartshit to make a meme series about Monday scaries, we decided to step in with some of our own suggestions. Being the drama queen of the art history eras, Baroque was the obvious place to look for all our Monday scaries feels. Below, check out our version of the Monday scaries, as told by Baroque paintings.

Artemisia Gentileschi, Sleeping Venus (1630)

sleeping-venus-1630.jpg!Large
When the alarm goes off and you’re like… please no. Not today.

Annibale Carracci, Corpse of Christ (c. 1583-85)

the-dead-christ-1585.jpg!Large
Lying in bed, debating if you should wallow in your pain a little bit or just get up and get it over with.

Paul Bril, Jesus Walking on the Sea of Galilee (1590)

jesus-walking-on-the-sea-of-galilee-1590.jpg!Large
Walking outside and into a hostile and scary world. Damn it, you knew you should’ve called in sick. Now it’s too late. Time to face the storm—and the subway.

Caravaggio, Medusa (c. 1597)

medusa-1597-1.jpg!Large
What every single person looks like today, including yourself.

Caravaggio, Boy Bitten by a Lizard (c. 1596)

boy-bitten-by-a-lizard(1).jpg!Large
When you open your inbox.

Artemisia Gentileschi, Susanna and the Elders (1610)

susanna-and-the-elders-1610.jpg!Large
When people inexplicably won’t stop coming into the gallery and asking you questions. Are you people sadists?! Can’t you just let me be helpless and depressed in peace?

Carracci, A Peasant Man, Head and Shoulders, Shouting (date unknown)

a-peasant-man-head-and-shoulders-shouting
When you accidentally let out a huge yawn in front of a client and you can’t tell if they’re judging you for being sloppy or are offended that you’re bored. Or which is worse.

Carracci, The Penitent Magdalen (date unknown)

the-penitent-magdalen.jpg!Large
Sitting at your desk, rethinking all of your life choices. How did I get here? Is it too late to run away and join the circus? Where does one even find a circus to join? Maybe I should’ve married my high school sweetheart and had 10 kids after all. Where are you now, Wesley?

Caravaggio, Inspiration of Saint Matthew (1602)

inspiration-of-saint-matthew-1602-1(1).jpg!Large
When it’s 5:15 and your boss asks for a progress report on that thing you were supposed to start last week… and immediately forgot about.

Carracci, Pieta (1599-1600)

pieta
Complaining to your friend when you meet for a drink after work, and she she’s trying to be understanding but doesn’t get why you’re so mopey. Some people are just immune to Monday scaries. Life’s not fair.

Text by Katya Lopatko
Images via @simplybeusa, @fahanimals, @mondayscaries, @reductress, Wikiart

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