Just as PSL season is hitting full swing, some super secret intel just landed on our desk: a very confidential report leaking the your favorite art girls’ Starbucks orders. Yes, this information is firmly rooted in fact and was not at all made up by the author of this article. Even the ones who lived long before Starbucks opened its hallowed halls in Seattle on March 31, 1971. You do the math.
Anna Wintour: Grande, half-caf, extra foam cappuccino, half soy and half almond, and god help you if it’s the teensiest bit cold when you deliver it. That is all.
Cindy Sherman: Whatever you’re having.
Frida Kahlo: I know what you’re thinking, and no, it’s not a Mexican hot chocolate. Come on, use your imagination. Legend has it the woman refused to touch anything that wasn’t a vanilla bean frappuccino. Idiosyncratic, yes, and more than a little unexpected, but have you seen her work?
Georgia O’Keeffe: Single shot espresso, or maybe a green tea. To be drunk on a New Mexican porch with exactly zero human beings in sight while gazing off into the distance, meditating on a cow skull she saw on her walk earlier that day. Could it be a symbol of the barrenness of the human condition in light of the relentless passage of time? (Just kidding, Georgia O’Keeffe wouldn’t be caught dead in a Starbucks).
Edie Sedgwick: What, they don’t serve gin here? This place is useless, Andy. Let’s go back to the Factory.
Jenny Holzer: ELBOW ME AGAIN AND I’LL CUT THE SMILE OFF YOUR FACE. THIS LINE IS INTOLERABLE. DON’T TALK DOWN TO ME, BARISTA. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I WANT. GIVE ME A LATTE AND MAKE IT HOT LIKE THE FACES OF OUR OPPRESSORS.
Yoko Ono: A tall green tea, obviously. But then she invites everyone in line to cut a little piece out of the cardboard sleeve. Touch the cup. Feel the heat on your fingers. Yes, I am a witch.
Nan Goldin: A dark roast drip coffee, drunk black at 2am.
Petra Collins: Grande iced almond milk latte, oh wait, you guys do matcha now? Oh my god, I love matcha. This rocks. I’ll have one, ummmm, tall I guess, and iced. Just kidding, hot. Yeah, hot. Thanks! I love your glasses by the way. They’re so cool. Are those the new Chloe Sev Warby Parkers? Love that she’s doing stuff for charity now. Girl gaze, amirite? Haha!
Chloë Sevigny: Black coffee, but she’s more of a bodega girl at heart. Downtown forever.
Photos via @starbucks, @frappucchinom, @yokoonoofficial, pixabay